There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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