I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
