we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
