hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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