plz talk dirty to me
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
