How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
