It's just like the Real World with babies
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Is Oprah even human
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
