I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
