Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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