we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
