Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
