just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize