it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
