I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
