he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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