i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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