You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
FUCK WHALES
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
