i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
