he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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