hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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