Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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