Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
