first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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