Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
