You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
