ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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