p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
