We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Two words: nipple clamps
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