beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize