and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
