they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
