Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
