I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
