It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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