He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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