Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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