I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
