she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
