i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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