Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm at about main and main street
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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