rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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