I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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