At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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