we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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