Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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