Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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