wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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