I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
