What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
