After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
