Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
