I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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