Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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