is your mom at the bar?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize