I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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