The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
