just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
