I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
