my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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