you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
