so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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