i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
