I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
