I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
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