yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
