We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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