Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
