That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
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