; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
