At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
