You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
