What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
