You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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