i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
