Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
sex in a hospital.. check
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
