The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I lost the right to judge tonight
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize